33 bizarre wares you’ve definitely never heard of (and eight you probably have)
HARDWARE — physical elements of a computer system
1. chardware — eco-friendly, Swiss
SOFTWARE — programs that operate a computer system
2. loftware — $3,000+ per month on urban networks; free on rural networks, but often haunted
FIRMWARE — low-level software for a device’s specific hardware
3. permware — salon use only
4. germware — 0.1% effective
WETWARE — biological hardware and software (like a person’s brain)
5. Brettware — retired, 4 GB
6. Tếtware — warning: surprisingly offensive
BLOATWARE — preinstalled software that takes up space and is rarely useful
7. coatware — temperature regulating
8. moatware — discourages cyber attacks
9. toteware — reusable
10. voteware — mandatory, lethal if not used
11. stoatware — used in coatware
MALWARE — software intended to damage a computer
12. HALware — discontinued in 2001
SHAREWARE — freely distributed software
13. hairware — needs maintenance
14. DAREware — incompatible with drug users
15. fairware — varies by county; warning: often fries chips
16. mareware — patented by OnlyHorses.com
17. Pearware — incompatible with Apple products
18. chairware — sometimes foldable and stackable, formats include swivel-, easy-, and Adirondack-
19. stairware — result of a failed elevator pitch, now emergency use only
20. flareware — emergency use only
21. spareware — just in case
22. glareware — judgmental subformat of spyware
23. Blairware — banned in Iraq
24. theirware — distinct from and incompatible with thereware and they’reware
25. thereware — distinct from and incompatible with theirware and they’reware
26. they’reware — distinct from and incompatible with theirware and thereware
SPYWARE — secretly installed software that tracks the user
27. dyeware — reformats hairware, sometimes used with permware; often regretted
28. pieware — cools on Windows sills
29. PSYware — can only run .GangnamStyle
30. slyware — mischievous subformat of spyware
31. tryware — if error occurs, restart and restart again
32. spryware — 80 years old and still tickin’
33. sighware — currently running on the reader’s neural wetware
